пятница, 5 июня 2015 г.

How To Properly Hide Booze in Your Pictures


Once upon a time there was a young man who was engaged to marry a pretty girl. After a while the bridegroom-to-be became suspicious of his fiancée and her mother. You see, they were both witches. The day came when witches go the Brocken, and the two women climbed into the hayloft, took a small glass, drank from it, and suddenly disappeared. The bridegroom-to-be, who had sneaked after them and observed them, was tempted to take a swallow from the glass. He picked it up and sipped a little from it, and suddenly he was on the Brocken, where he saw how his fiancée and her mother were carrying on with the witches, who were dancing around the devil, who was standing in their midst. After the dance was ended, the devil commanded everyone to take her glass and drink, and immediately afterward they all flew off in the four directions of the wind. The bridegroom-to-be, however, stood there all soul alone on the Brocken, and freezing, for it was a cold night. He hadn't brought a glass with him, so he had to return on foot. Halloween Stories After a long, difficult hike he finally came to his fiancée's.

Learn the Difference, It Could Save Your Life


Huddled together in their hut of stone and sod, Elder Ongham hugged his children closer as the spirits of the dead raged outside. For it was the festival of Samhain, the first full moon after the harvest. On this night the dead rose up from their graves and communed with the living, gently knocking on doors to have a quiet word with their kin. Candles burned in windows and hollowed out gourds so the waking spirits might find their way home through the mist, and warm their souls by the hearth awhile. It was a homecoming of sorts, and most welcome to families in mourning for loved ones.

Rofling Seals


"And how, my Morgana, do you propose we fool them?" asked Elder, intrigued. She looked around the room desperately, focusing on odds and ends. "Like so!" she said, and rose from the patch of floor where they were huddled. She took down a pair of antlers from the wall and fixed it to Elder's head with a bit of string. She reached into their sack of fine ground wheat and began tossing clumps into their faces so they were as pale as the dead. She grabbed lengths of sack cloths and linens, and they wrapped themselves like the dead were arrayed before a burial. She cut the head from a poor chicken that cowered clucking in the corner, and dabbed their faces with blood.

Welcome to the English Language


A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little leaving speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. 'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.

Cats That are Returning To Their Mothership


Listen a job is a job, we all need to find away to put bread on the table don’t we? To make a long story short I’m a telemarketer that’s my job and that’s what I do. It’s not a job everyone appreciates, but it’s a job I enjoy and am proud of. The other day I called a house and a real nice lady answered the phone, she was really helpful and friendly, she was the type of lady that helps a telemarketer get through a long day. After some pleasantries I asked if Mr. Smith was in, “I’m sorry”, she answered “I’m afraid he doesn’t live here anymore.” Now that was a real disappointment being that she was a nice lady and all, but I took it all in a stride, “I’m sorry to hear that ma’am. Do you happen to have his new number.” “Sure thing!” The woman cheerfully replied, listing off his new number.

Dogs Can Be Real Jerks


“Excuse me sir,” said the man to one of the stewards on an Amtrak Train, “I always get nauseous when I go on trains, so I am going to to take a heavy sleeping pill, but please do whatever you can to make sure I get off when it stops in Baltimore. I really don’t want to miss my great aunt’s funeral.” “Sure thing!” said the steward happily, we’ll make you sure you get off!” Six hours later the train stopped in Washington D.C. and the man jumped out of his seat in a panic, “WHAT THE HECK! I ASKED YOU TO WAKE ME UP IN BALTIMORE!” “Oh boy! He looks mad!” Remarked the fellow behind him to his wife. “Not half as mad as that other guy they carried off back in Baltimore.” She whispered back.

The Adventures of Business CatsThe Adventures of Business Cats


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Hey Carl


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My Dang Car Won’t Start


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Updated Chess Pieces


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Independent Dogs Who Don’t Need Humans


Insomnia Is Not That Bad


Undeniable Proof That Cats Are Liquid


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четверг, 4 июня 2015 г.

F##ck Your Laws Of Physics


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Alam Nyo Yung Uto- Uto ?


When You Were Younger And Your Parents Said


Complaining That Yours Single On Valentines Day ?


Wanna See A Trick ?


Jon Bon Pony


I Don’t Get Why People Find Drunk Texts Annoying